Rediscovering Who You Are by Honouring Your Values
As we step into a new year, it is common to reflect on what we hope for ourselves in 2025. Many of us have felt the impact of work, family, and societal pressures, or inundated by news or digital noise. This all can cause us to lose touch with ourselves and what truly matters to us. In times when we feel lost and stuck, it can be helpful to reflect on our values.
Why Do Values Matter?
Values aren’t just abstract ideas. They are an internal compass of principles that guide our choices and shape how we experience the world. They allow us to clarify who we are and what we stand for, even at a subconscious level. When we identify and intentionally make decisions based on our values, it can help us feel more grounded and clear-headed, even in uncertain times.
Values are prominent in the world of psychology. The evidence-based modality known as Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), emphasizes how making choices rooted in our values can increase our motivation and commitment to the necessary steps towards growth. When our actions align with who we are, it becomes easier to make decisions that resonate. This approach can be valuable in helping to overcome resistance and actually creating the change we seek.
The reason this can be effective is that values are a reflection of what is most important to you, whether it’s honesty, kindness, growth, courage, freedom, or shared humanity. They indicate what we hold dear in our relationships, decisions, and the way we navigate the world.
For example:
- Growth: You’re driven by a desire to learn and improve, even during setbacks.
- Honesty: You prioritize openness and truth, even when it’s uncomfortable.
- Kindness: You aim to meet others with compassion, no matter the circumstances.
When life pulls you away from these principles, it’s normal to feel stuck, stressed or disconnected. Interacting with family, work, or other communities with differing values can feel deeply conflicting and disheartening, especially when it clashes with what feels true to you.
How to Reconnect With Your Values
A way to reconnect with our authentic selves is to first identify our values and ways we may not be living in alignment with them. Taking a step back allows us to view our life from a big-picture perspective, much like pulling back an arrow to assess where we can aim our energy, decisions, and actions. It can be helpful to pull up a list of values (such as this one via Brene Brown) and ask yourself the following:
- Which of these words do I gravitate towards?
- Which of these words feel the most important to me?
- Which principles guide the choices I’m most proud of?
Sometimes how we view ourselves and what we truly value can differ. Your values may not always match what others expect of you, and that’s okay. This exercise is about discovering what resonates with you.
Once you have a clearer sense of your values, begin to consciously weave them into your everyday life. It can be as simple as choosing to build relationships with more honesty or honouring your need for rest to support your personal growth. These small choices and intentions can lead to consistent changes, bringing us closer to a more intentional life that resonates authentically with who we are.
Finding Liberation Through Your Values
Living honestly means letting your values shape your actions – even when it’s the harder path. It’s not about being perfect but about staying grounded in what truly matters to you.
There will be times when it’s easier to go along with others’ expectations or sidestep discomfort. However, choosing to honour your values in those moments can bring a sense of peace and fulfillment that feels rare and deeply meaningful.
It’s a brave and often messy process, and progress isn’t straightforward. Yet, each step moves you closer to living in a way that feels liberating and true to who you are.
Being True to Yourself
Living life with more alignment and reconnecting with your authentic self is an ongoing journey. In the stages of trauma recovery, this reconnection work is called post-traumatic growth. It requires dedication and regularly checking in with ourselves, however the deeper sense of clarity, purpose, and connection is possible and worth pursuing.
If you’re ready to start values exploration and uncover how to move towards a more authentic, fulfilling life, please don’t hesitate to get in touch. Book a free consultation to see how we can work together to help you reconnect with what feels true to you.
With care,
Rachel
